Tim Rettig's Blog

I wish I could claim credit on this one, but it is actually the out of office message of Nick Giordano, our professional services manager:

Tis the week after Christmas, and I’m not in ‘da house’

I’m not using my computer, not even the mouse.

I will check my email, some here and some there,

In hopes to get back to you with timeliness that’s fair.

 

We’re still fixing PCs, the sick and the dead,

So give us a call, we’ll put issues to bed.

Whatever you need, we’ve got it on tap,

And if you’re nice, we may even gift-wrap.

  Read the rest of this entry »

I didn’t go to the office today because my basement flooded.  I figured I might as well let people know what was going on by setting up my out of office message:

Greetings!

You are probably accustomed to getting these automatic replies when people are on vacation in some exotic place, or at an important business conference.

Unfortunately, this is not one of those times.  This morning I awoke to a flooded basement, so today I am at home dealing with that mess.

Since today’s technology allows me to work anywhere, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed.  I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time allows me to between emptying my wet/dry vac, calls to the insurance company, and paying the bills of the plumbers and carpet cleaners.

If you have a service request or technical issue, please e-mail…….

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.

Why the funny message?  Find out here: http://blog.timrettig.com/outofoffice/

Thank you!

I hope I don’t ever have to use that message again……

The title is the “best” out of office messages.  I don’t think there was any formal voting process, but they are pretty funny nonetheless:

http://www.examiner.com/life-the-cubicle-in-national/the-best-out-of-office-messages-to-use-while-away-from-work

There are quite a few on there I wouldn’t recommend unless you plan on quitting or getting fired soon.

Greetings Fellow Muggle!

I have taken the Hogwarts Express to Orlando, Florida for a business meeting with my peer group, and an industry conference. I will return to the office on Monday, November 14, 2011.

You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time allows me to between Quidditch matches, meetings and battling He Who Must Not be Named.

If you have a service request or technical issue, please send an owl to our support team.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1. Ask to speak with Dumbledore.

Full Disclosure: My eight year-old son Ethan helped me write this e-mail. While I am here I am also going to be visiting a certain theme park with my family. Maybe you have been able to figure it out from the hints in this message.

Thank you!

Greetings!

Today, Monday, October 10, 2011 I will be wandering Indiana, taking in the fall foliage. In the midst of my wandering, I have client meetings in Greensburg and Indianapolis, Indiana.

Greensburg’s claim to fame in the Hoosier State is the tree that is growing out of the roof of the courthouse steeple. You can read about it here:

http://www.cityofgreensburg.com/history.html

You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time between wandering, meetings and fall foliage allows me to.

If you have an urgent service request or technical issue, please e-mail our support desk.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.

Thank you!

Greetings!

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week (8/30 to 9/1) I am in Minneapolis at a CEO Forum to learn about ways to improve the way INTRUST is run. The event is being held at the beautiful and lavish Minneapolis Airport Marriot, which features in room coffee and some mean karaoke in the bar after 7PM.

You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time between meetings and karaoke practice allows me to.

If you have an urgent service request or technical issue, please e-mail our support desk.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.

Thank you.

Greetings!

This week (8/8 to 8/12) I am in in Seattle and Portland meeting with Intel, Microsoft, and other companies in the IT industry as I continue my never-ending quest to learn about all kinds of technologies that I will be implementing in my company and yours in the coming years.

I may also find myself donning some flannel and joining a grunge band.

You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time between meetings and jam sessions allow me to.

If you have an urgent service request or technical issue, please e-mail our support desk.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.

Thank you.

Greetings!

 I am currently on a family vacation in Gatlinburg, TN with 17 people. If all goes as planned and we stay civil to one another, I will be back in the office Monday June 27th. That is, of course, as long as I am not attacked by a bear while hiking.

You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time and bear attacks allow.

If you have an urgent service request or technical issue, please e-mail our support desk.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.

Thank you.