Mo’ Mobility, Mo’ Problems
Apple released the iPad 3 last month with much fanfare. In the first weekend alone they sold 3 million of them, which is very impressive considering it took 28 days for the original iPad to reach just 1 million units sold. As I’ve written previously, businesses of all shapes and sizes have been finding new and inventive ways to increase productivity by arming their employees with these modern 
marvels. While businesses have been quick to uncover new capabilities with these devices, they have also been quick to uncover new problems.
Not only are these devices changing the requirements for wifi inside the office, but now outside of the office the new iPad 3 has the ability to gobble up bandwidth like never before. While latched onto Verizon or AT&T’s 4G LTE network, a user can consume a whole month’s worth of bandwidth in just one hour by watching hi-definition video, or downloading a bunch of apps. Speaking of apps, we are seeing a common scenario where a company allows users to use their personal iTunes accounts on their iPads. Then using that same personal account they purchase apps for business use and get reimbursed for the purchase, or use a company credit-card for the purchase. If that user ever leaves the company, those apps that the company paid for go with the user’s iTunes account – there is no way for the user to transfer those apps back to the company.
Gatlinburg Out of Office 2012
This week I’m on vacation. So I put together this fun little out of office message:
Hey Y’all!
I am out of the office this week, Monday March 26th to Friday March 30th. I will be back in the office Monday April 2nd.
This week is Spring Break for my kids. So I decided to take the family to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to do some hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park:
http://www.nps.gov/grsm/index.htm
If all goes well we won’t have any close encounters with the 1,500 bears that live in the park. In addition to some hiking, we’ll probably do some go-carting, horseback riding and Zorbing. Yes, I said Zorbing. You can only Zorb in New Zealand, Guam, and the Smoky Mountains. I’ve done both the wet and dry version, so believe me when I say that the wet version is MUCH better than the dry.
Holiday Out of Office Message
I wish I could claim credit on this one, but it is actually the out of office message of Nick Giordano, our professional services manager:
Tis the week after Christmas, and I’m not in ‘da house’ I’m not using my computer, not even the mouse. I will check my email, some here and some there, In hopes to get back to you with timeliness that’s fair. We’re still fixing PCs, the sick and the dead, So give us a call, we’ll put issues to bed. Whatever you need, we’ve got it on tap, And if you’re nice, we may even gift-wrap. Read the rest of this entry »
Mary’s Birthday Bash
Today, December 21st, 2011, is my wife Mary’s 40th birthday. Being the great person that she is, she has chosen to donate her birthday to charity:water, our favorite charity.
Normally, when you donate your birthday to charity:water you have a party and people make donations instead of bringing gifts. Without the party, the whole donations in lieu of gifts isn’t going to work. So what I have done is surprised Mary with a special “virtual online party” by using social media and crowdsourcing.
For the past week I have been posting videos and pictures on her Facebook wall. Those videos and photos were produced all over the world by all kinds of different people that I interacted with via crowdsourcing tools. Mary had no idea who the people were in the videos, or how I got all of them to wish her happy birthday. She was stumped.
Here is a recap of the best videos for you to check out:
Out of Office Due to Flooded Basement
I didn’t go to the office today because my basement flooded. I figured I might as well let people know what was going on by setting up my out of office message:
Greetings!
You are probably accustomed to getting these automatic replies when people are on vacation in some exotic place, or at an important business conference.
Unfortunately, this is not one of those times. This morning I awoke to a flooded basement, so today I am at home dealing with that mess.
Since today’s technology allows me to work anywhere, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time allows me to between emptying my wet/dry vac, calls to the insurance company, and paying the bills of the plumbers and carpet cleaners.
If you have a service request or technical issue, please e-mail…….
If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.
Why the funny message? Find out here: http://blog.timrettig.com/outofoffice/
Thank you!
I hope I don’t ever have to use that message again……
An iPad and Mickey Mouse
This month, my wife Mary and I took our two kids, Ethan (eight) and Lauren (six), to experience all that Disney and Universal Studios have to offer in Orlando, Florida. This was our fourth family vacation to the Sunshine State, so at this point, between our other trips and my wife’s research, we are pros at running the Disney gauntlet.
However, the one area that always seemed to be stressful was the arrival at the Orlando airport and subsequent transportation to the resort. After a flight with kids, the last thing we want to do is spend time in lines waiting for taxis, shuttles or rental cars. So this time I decided to prearrange a car via Town Car Now. Since there were four of us, the cost wasn’t much more than a shuttle or taxi, and the promise of having a car waiting upon our arrival sounded like just what we needed.
Another out of office collection
The title is the “best” out of office messages. I don’t think there was any formal voting process, but they are pretty funny nonetheless:
There are quite a few on there I wouldn’t recommend unless you plan on quitting or getting fired soon.
Harry Potter Out of Office Message
Greetings Fellow Muggle!
I have taken the Hogwarts Express to Orlando, Florida for a business meeting with my peer group, and an industry conference. I will return to the office on Monday, November 14, 2011.
You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time allows me to between Quidditch matches, meetings and battling He Who Must Not be Named.
If you have a service request or technical issue, please send an owl to our support team.
If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1. Ask to speak with Dumbledore.
Full Disclosure: My eight year-old son Ethan helped me write this e-mail. While I am here I am also going to be visiting a certain theme park with my family. Maybe you have been able to figure it out from the hints in this message.
Thank you!
The Toaster Effect
Saturday, my wife Mary returned from a shopping trip with a new toaster. When I saw it in her pile of newly purchased merchandise, I innocently asked, “Did our toaster break?”
“No,” she replied, “I just thought it was time for a change.”
I quickly did the math in my head, and replied, “Okay, sounds good.”
I came to the conclusion that there were two good reasons why her purchase garnered an almost “Yes, dear” reply:
1. She has put up with me purchasing about every new piece of technology in the house when the obsolete device usually worked just fine, in her view. She didn’t say a thing when, in just a few years stretch, we went from a VCR to DVD to HD-DVD to Blu-Ray. She also hasn’t complained that we currently have four different cameras we use on a regular basis.
2. I didn’t know how old the toaster was, but I was pretty sure we might have received it as a wedding gift 16 years ago. I haven’t kept up with toaster technology, but I would suspect, in that timeframe, someone has dreamed up some new features.
Later that day, I wandered over and took a look at the fancy new toaster she had purchased. It was stainless steel, which matched all of our appliances. The old toaster was white and matched the appliances in our old kitchen. The old toaster also had a single dial on it that only set the darkness of the toast.
The new toaster had buttons for different things that could be toasted, like bagels, frozen waffles, and of course, toast. I was pleased with the new purchase and glad she was the one who must have fretted over all of the different models at the store. The new toaster was a welcome new addition to our household.
That was, until the next day. Read the rest of this entry »
Wandering Indiana Out of Office Message
Greetings!
Today, Monday, October 10, 2011 I will be wandering Indiana, taking in the fall foliage. In the midst of my wandering, I have client meetings in Greensburg and Indianapolis, Indiana.
Greensburg’s claim to fame in the Hoosier State is the tree that is growing out of the roof of the courthouse steeple. You can read about it here:
http://www.cityofgreensburg.com/history.html
You know me, I’ll be on email, but it may be a slightly slower turnaround than to what you are accustomed. I will only be checking and responding to urgent messages as time between wandering, meetings and fall foliage allows me to.
If you have an urgent service request or technical issue, please e-mail our support desk.
If you need immediate assistance, please contact our service desk at (513) 469-6500 option #1.
Thank you!
